4. Steve Hansen – RET, Ireland

Steve Hansen gives his post-match verdict to @rterugby: “Do you want me tell you we’re a dirty side?” https://t.co/pb0YIIqZd7

— RTÉ Rugby (@RTErugby) November 19, 2016

Steve Hansen has done a wonderful job morphing from Graham Henry’s grumpy hitman into kind-of-likeable gruff Kiwi wise-ass since taking over as head coach of the All Blacks.

Every now and then, though, the old Shag pops up.

Things started out well enough with Irish TV reporter Claire McNamara following the All Blacks’ victory in Dublin last year, however they quickly got awkward when McNamara suggested Shag “talk to us about discipline”, referencing the high penalty count.

“Yeah, well, you always want the referee to be consistent – let’s leave it at that,” Hansen answered.

McNarama opted not to, following up with: “It was a hard watch some of those tackles weren’t they – was there a dangerous element to them?”

Hansen thought not and said so. McNamara pushed on with: “Is this something that concerns you – the tackling with the edge to it?”

Hansen “I’m not sure where you are going with this? Do you want me to tell you that we are a dirty side or something? Is that what you are saying?”

McNarama: “No”.

Hansen: “Well, I’ve talked about it. Do you want to talk about something else now?”

3. Kieran Keane, SKY Sports UK

Turns out folksy colloquialisms aren’t the best way to go when dealing with a highly pissed-off rugby coach who has just watched his side bomb certain victory for the second week in a row. Former Tasman coach Kieran Keane clearly had no idea what was being asked when it was put to him that he was possibly “ticking ever so slightly at the moment”?

Keane: “What does that mean?”

Interviewer: “Fit to split?”

Keane: “I don’t really know what you mean…”

Interviewer: “Angry, upset, frustrated, steaming.”

Keane: “No. No, disappointed.”

And it was pretty much downhill from there.

Interviewer: “What, in particular were you disappointed about today?”

Keane: “We lost.”

2. Michael Cheika – BeIN sports

Fair or too far? Wallabies coach Michael Cheika fires up post match. #ENGvAUS @abcgrandstand @abcnews pic.twitter.com/HXNWlwpmYY

— Scott Rollinson (@ScottRollinson) November 18, 2017

Wallabies coach Michael Cheika isn’t exactly known for his even temperament, so chances are the camera and sound operators knew exactly what they were doing when they captured him carrying on like a complete chook at Twickenham over the weekend.

One would think Cheika would have become quite accustomed to having his failings highlighted by now. Not so, if his reaction to being quizzed in wonderfully polite tones bya beIN SPORTS reporter is anything to go by.

“What are you asking me? Is that what it is coming down to?” spat Cheika when asked whether he would apologise for his explosion.

“It is going to be played on TV so it is bets to ask you,” the reporter offered.

“They can play whatever they like but if that’s what it is coming down to that’s it,” said Cheika. “I’m trying to have an interview without getting stuck into that and you want to keep making it about that. Don’t say you are not. Have the respect for me to say ‘I am doing that’ at least. And I’m trying to fight it off. If that is the new thing then, yeah, maybe I did swear. It happens sometimes in life. I’m sure you have as well. Maybe the TV camera wasn’t on you at the time.”

That’s a no for the apology then.

1. Brendan Venter – Sky Sports UK

YouTube video

Saracens coach, the former Springbok Brendan Venter, takes the award for most pissy post-match interview ever for this 58-second gem – in which the transcript speaks for itself:

Interviewer: “Brendan, how disappointed are you?”

BV: “Disapointed. Very Disappointed.”

Interviewer: “What went wrong? You got off to such a wonderful start?”

BV: “Yeah. That’s interesting. I wonder what did go wrong. I’ll have to think about it.”

Interviewer: “Well, what did go wrong?”

BV: “I’ll think about. Deeply. Very deeply.”

Interviewer: “Did it hinge in the end on a bit of genius from Sireli Bobo?”

BV: “Genius. A bit of magic. Sireli Bobo. Very interesting, yeah. Very good. Three cheers for Sireli Bobo. Very good. Very good.”

Interviewer: “What were you happy with about your side?”

BV: “Happy? Everything. Very good. Very happy with my team.”

Interviewer: “But you didn’t win, did you Brendan?’

BV: “Yeah, well. That’s true.”

Interviewer: “Why didn’t you win?”

BV: “Good question that. Very good question. It is important to win. We must try harder.”

(By now long-suffering) Interviewer: “So you think it was a lack of effort?”

BV: “I can’t say it’s a lack of effort.”

Interviewer: “So what would it be, Brendan?”

BV: “Let me think. I’m not sure. Let me think about that one. Think about it deeply.”

Interviewer: “Okay, thank you Brendan.”

Venter, it seems, actually thought it was the ref’s fault his team lost.

Bonus round:

South African Premier League Mohammed Anas thanks his wife – and his girlfriend – after picking up the man-of-the-match award for the Free State Stars.

Aras later clarified the mix up, informing fans that “girlfriend” was the nickname he used for his, er, daughter. 

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