New Zealand’s unofficial poet laureate Victor Billot pens topical verse every Sunday. This week: National’s spokesperson for baseless conspiracies, Gerry Brownlee
Outlining Facts
I am the Shadowy Minister of Hidden Agendas.
Of the public good I am the Great Defender.
I jumped the shark and went on the lam,
I’m down with Poot Evans and his coronascam.
Is Ashley Bloomfield a reptile shapeshifter?
Is Bishop Elvis Tokoroa a Level Four grifter?
I’m just asking questions. I’m just outlining facts.
I’ve got bundles of them. I’ve got several sacks.
Treat this virus with bleach? I couldn’t comment.
Eat some hydroxychloroquine? I’ve heard it’s a tonic.
But don’t use that app. It’s all part of their plan.
The sheeple they just do not understand.
As a responsible leader, I’m for the common good.
Create mischief and problems? I never would.
But I’m getting desperate for some air
at the bum end of election year.
Oops! I never meant to cause a scene.
Please remain in quarantine.
Victor Billot has previously been moved to write odes for such New Zealand luminaries as Garrick Tremain, Todd Muller, David Clark, Winston Peters and James Shaw.
* Made with the support of Creative New Zealand *
