It was a week not just of cancellations,
Remonstrations and protestations,
But also allegations
Of racist insinuations.
It started with news
That we’re going to lose
The chance to peruse
Some of Dr Seuss’s views.
We’re six Seuss books down,
Six Seuss books to replace.
We need to fill six new Seuss books
With news from about the place.
It’s a big job to do
Starting with “Hosking Hears a Who?”
Well not Jacinda, that’s for sure
For she will not talk to Mike anymore.
She will not talk to Mike about labs and swabs
She will not talk to Mike about jabs and jobs.
Mike was mad and he told us so,
Who was she to shun his show?
He, the biggest of all the cocks to crow
On award-winning breakfast radio.
Mike ranted and raved,
He raved and he ranted
For the attention he craved,
And his ego supplanted.
Right, so on with the show,
And a derivative recital
Of the title
“Oh! The Places You Should Not Go”.
Dr Ashley acted rashly.
He got a ticket to the cricket.
The ticket was free, causing him glee,
Until he was yorked on his own sticky wicket.
You see there were machinations over vaccinations
With unfortunate connotations and implications.
The Black Caps tried to jump the vaccine queue
Which isn’t really crick… err, something you should do.
So it wasn’t a good look for dear Dr Bloom
To be snapped in the Black Caps’ changing room.
He shouldn’t have gone and won’t go again, he said,
Which puts that conflict of interest rather neatly to bed.
Now, for some, Seuss’ “If I Ran The Circus” is not a big deal
But Judith Collins gets to do it for real.
The review of the Nats’ election campaign is out,
And after the rout
There’s nowt to flout, spout
Or even shout about.
“Disunity, poor behaviour and leaks” – it all sounds like hell,
And yet these were the only three things
That the Nats did well.
Still leaking so badly,
Her caucus is a gusher.
That Crusher the husher
Is bound for the flusher.
Flushed long ago and crossed off the list,
News of Jami-Lee Ross
Was easily missed.
He was an MP
Now he’s anti-5G,
Selling us wares
Based on conspiracy scares.
Which just goes to show
That after all that
He’s just a prat
In a tin-foil hat.
Speaking of foils
And America’s Cup spoils,
Keep an eye out today for gybing and tacking
And sledges and put-downs that won’t be lacking.
Will we see the unfurling
Of our Peter Burling?
Will he be brittle?
Or will he belittle
Little Jimmy Spithill?
Five stories down
And just one to go,
Of the Duke and the Duchess
And their tale of woe,
Causing the organ
Known as Piers Morgan
To make like a gorgon
And walk off his show.
And so dear friend
This is all that I’ve penned.
Wishing you and yours
A peaceful weekend.