Level 2.8, the headlines when Judith Collins gets rolled, and what we should be doing with anti-vaxxers. James Elliott tops off a week of reckons with a few of his own.
I reckon that Kate Hawkesby will rue the day that she said Jacinda Ardern will rue the day she dug her toes in on Covid elimination. I reckon that I won’t rue the day that I said that Kate Hawkesby will rue the day that she said Jacinda Ardern will rue the day she dug her toes in on Covid elimination. I reckon that Jacinda Ardern has UPD (Ultra Phalange Dexterity) and can do a lot more with her toes than just dig them in. I reckon that if you compared Jacinda Ardern’s toes with Mother Teresa’s toes you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. I reckon that you shouldn’t test that reckon by doing a Google image search for “Mother Teresa’s toes”, I reckon that won’t end well.
I reckon that we could do worse than to live by Mother Teresa’s dictum – “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love”. I reckon that dictum works provided that we’re meeting people in our own bubble or at a distance of at least two metres if we’re exercising in our neighbourhood as required under Alert Level 4.
I reckon that under Alert Level 2.8 David Seymour will be the only person required to stay at home, for suggesting that there should be a lottery to encourage people to use the Covid Tracer App.
I reckon that there will be Alert Level 2.8 before this is all over. I reckon that under Alert Level 2.8 David Seymour will be the only person required to stay at home, for suggesting that there should be a lottery to encourage people to use the Covid Tracer App. I reckon that David Seymour should stick to saying or doing very little because that non-strategy strategy is making him more of a preferred PM than Judith Collins.
I reckon that Judith Collins should be concerned that there are members of her caucus who are working on an elimination strategy that’s got nothing to do with Covid-19. I reckon Judith Collins should be even more concerned that it’s public knowledge that there are members of her caucus who are working on an elimination strategy that’s got nothing to do with Covid-19.
I reckon that if you’re considering buying Simon Bridges’ book as a Father’s Day gift you shouldn’t. I reckon that you should wait until Christmas when it will be a lot cheaper.
I reckon that if Judith Collins gets rolled during the vaccine rollout there will be a cartoon of her being jabbed by multiple needles. I reckon that if Judith Collins gets rolled at the end of the year there will be a headline that reads ‘18 Months in a Leaky Boat’.
I reckon that if you’re considering buying Simon Bridges’ book as a Father’s Day gift you shouldn’t. I reckon that you should wait until Christmas when it will be a lot cheaper. I reckon that if Simon Bridges starts cutting his hair short again you’ll know that he thinks he can have another tilt at being the National Party leader. I reckon that it would be brilliant if we could read the direct messages that National Party caucus members are sending each other during their Zoom caucus meetings.
I reckon that we should try and find a way to vaccinate anti-vaxxers with saline. I reckon that anti-vaxxers need a better placard strategy. I reckon that a significant proportion of anti-vaxxers only walk the earth today because when they were very young they got free vaccinations for Tetanus, Diptheria, Whooping Cough, Rotavirus, Hepatitis B, Haemophilus influenza type B, Pneumococcal, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Polio and Chicken Pox. I reckon that Chicken Pox sounds a lot worse than its scientific name Varicella which I reckon sounds like a Spanish liqueur. I reckon that it might be helpful to clarify that Chicken Pox has nothing to do with chickens whereas Fowlpox is the viral disease that affects poultry.
I reckon that if Judith Collins gets rolled at the end of the year there will be a headline that reads ‘18 Months in a Leaky Boat’.
I reckon that, on the subject of poultry, there appear to be quite a few KFC outlets listed as “locations of interest” by the Ministry of Health. I reckon that there are lots of reasons not to go to a KFC outlet and potential Covid infection isn’t at the top of that list, I reckon.
I reckon that “location of interest” is an attempt at a calming vanilla euphemism for “potentially pestilent premises”.
I reckon that we’ve learned a lot more about Warkworth’s wastewater than we thought was possible.
I reckon that by the time this is all over Ashley Bloomfield will feature in a “Should Have Gone To Specsavers” meme.
I reckon that we’re getting worn down by the number of multi-media reckons coming our way 24/7. I reckon that Russell Brown was right when he tweeted on Monday – “On the upside, it’s a whole week till we have to read any more Sunday newspaper reckoners.” I reckon that Russell won’t mind me swapping his “columnists” for “reckoners”. I reckon that the only Reckoner you should be paying any attention to is the one at track seven of Radiohead’s ‘In Rainbows’ album.
I reckon that you should get vaccinated and that you should have a peaceful weekend.
