Stranger in a strange land

The Prophet Luxos walked amongst the People.

He spoke to the tillers of the soil.

Lo, said the Prophet:

The People are wet and whineth

and look inward.

And the tillers of the soil nodded in agreement

For they were a special Tribe unlike the others.

The Prophet Luxos came across some peons

crushed under relentless mortgages by the moneylenders.

Lo, said the Prophet:

The House of the Lord has many rooms.

Indeed, there are actually many Houses of the Lord,

Numbering seven at last count.

The Prophet Luxos drove into Gilead in his Tesla

Where he spake to the assembled wet whiny People.

Lo, said the Prophet:

The problem is that we need more babies.

The career ladies with their subsidised birth control

Were shamed, and asketh does the Prophet mock us?

So the Prophet asked his handmaiden Nicola

Could you step in here and correct course?

Nicola spoke to the ladies

And told them to relax because the Prophet

Had merely told a joke.

The Prophet Luxos led his People out of Egypt

But came across a complicated road sign

Which read Hello/Kia Ora.

I have no idea what this means, said the Prophet,

So he wandered lost in the Wilderness

For Forty Days and Forty Nights.

When he emerged it was election season.

What is your vision O Prophet? Asked the People.

What awaits in your Paradise?

And the Prophet Luxos was stuck for words.

Erm … it will be aspirational, saith the Prophet,

Turning on the in flight safety videos.

Thus the People saw his shining City on the Hill

Which looked very much like a Koru Club Lounge,

With behind it spread out an infinite Golf Course

Where Key Almighty himself stood bathed under a soft golden glow

Shone by the Archangel Hosko from a big spotlight.

Victor Billot has previously felt moved to compose Odes in honour of David Parker, Stuart Nash, and wassisname Hipkins.

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