MARIAMENO KAPA-KINGI, TPM MP FOR TAI TOKERAU

This Government will not waver in its mission to exterminate Māori.

CHRISTOPHER LUXON

Oh well look you know I don’t think that hard-working Kiwis want to hear language like that.

It’s just really unhelpful rhetoric. My Government is genuinely committed to advancing outcomes that hard-working Kiwis prefer to hear, and I think what hard-working Kiwis will tell you is that what hard-working Kiwis want to hear is helpful rhetoric.

Okay so look there’s a big difference in these two kinds of rhetoric and what it comes down to is that government rhetoric sounds a lot more appealing to hard-working Kiwis because we talk about wanting to advance outcomes for Māori, and that’s something that hard-working Kiwis find helpful as opposed to, you know, unhelpful.

When I talk about hard-working Kiwis I want to make it clear that I include Māori in that group. Studies show that many, many Māori are hard-working Kiwis when they’re not in prison or on social welfare, and I’m sure they will tell you that if you can find them but what with the power cuts they can be a bit hard to see in the dark.

TPM CO-LEADER RAWIRI WAITITI

This is how we feel and we will not be told how to feel.

CHRIS HIPKINS

If I were to say one thing to Te Pāti Māori it would be, “Kia ora, how’s it going, I’m Chris Hipkins, you may remember me as the Prime Minister, thanks so much for your time, would you like a cup of tea, or a biscuit, they go well together I find, and yes I suppose I do look like a bit of a gingernut, anyway now that we’re all sitting comfortably can I just say that in regards to this comment about extermination, you mustn’t feel like that.”

Labour has enjoyed a long and meaningful relationship with Te Pāti Māori, and it’s based on a fundamental understanding that there is absolutely no place for that kind of rhetoric.

It’s just really unhelpful rhetoric. As leader of the Labour Party, which offers a set of solutions to the challenges faced by hard-working Kiwis, I want to assure hard-working Kiwis that Labour is focused on helpful rhetoric.

TPM CO-LEADER RAWIRI WAITITI

Many of the policy changes of this Government absolutely makes us feel like there are huge extermination processes.

DAVID SEYMOUR

The coalition Government is committed to meeting its huge extermination targets. Policy changes, such as repealing Treaty obligations from the Oranga Tamakari Act, are in the best interest of hard-working Kiwi landlords and right-wing political lobbyists.

These kinds of people have finally found their voice after years of not being heard, after years of struggle and struggle, after years of being dismissed as a minority.

As for Māori, they should stop talking about race. It’s just really unhelpful rhetoric.

TPM CO-LEADER DEBBIE NGAREWA-PACKER

Our supporters are not going to speak like some of the uncles around here want to hear them speak.

WINSTON PETERS

You have to earn the right to call me uncle. The Māori Party haven’t earned that right and neither have they earned the right to  speak on behalf of all Māori. They only achieved three percent party vote. New Zealand First achieved six percent party vote. That allows us to speak on behalf of all hard-working Kiwis over the age of 75 with a taste for a rarely sensibly, often powerfully, and always really quite uniquely expressed rhetoric.

The long-running Secret Diary series, now at Newsroom, has chronicled the good and the great in grotesque fashion since the Age of Key. Last week: a cowboy adventure starring Coalition Sheriff Luxon.

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2 Comments

  1. The Secret Diary may seem ‘grotesque’ to some, but we must remember that we are living in the Post Truth Era where denial has reached mainstream.

    If what I say seems ‘over the top’ to some, it nevertheless describes our time. The time of nuclear weapons and the fantasy of nuclear deterrence, climate change and its second generation of denial, the need to see the big picture of culture and history, and the terror of knowing that only massive change in the way civilization is envisioned and organized can maximize chances for a sustainable future.

    Thank you, Steve Braunias who captured so well the soul of John Key and his political appeal for several years in the Sunday Star Times.

  2. You captured the blah of it all so well Steve. Rounding it all off with Winston’s . . .
    ‘You have to earn the right to call me Uncle,’ such a thumbnail of his rhetoric. Perfectly pitched for his audience, followed by a straw argument.

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